These kinds of jokes have been around since long, long ago. I've got gobs of them on my
jokes page. Here are some updates inspired by Episode I:
- you've got a rolled-up attack droid half-buried in your front yard ... and you've painted it white.
- you think it's OK to use Federation landing craft to flush game.
- you've ever used your lightsaber to gig Gungans.
- you've ever said, "It's about damn TIME Amidala got married! Hell, she's nearly FIFTEEN!"
- you think Watto's Junkyard is an upscale establishment.
- you started hitting on offworld women before hitting puberty.
- you've ever borrowed a starship and then tried to pawn it to bet on a race.
- you've got at least one racing pod up on blocks in your yard.
- your favorite pod racer's name is "Dale".
- you think "Demolition Pod Racing" is the next big sport.
- you've ever left the body panels off your protocol droid because, "I'd just have to take 'em off again to adjust somethin'."
- you've ever been told your midichlorians are off the scale and you responded, "yeah, I thought I was weighin' in a little light."
- you've ever used a double-barreled lightsaber.
- you've ever bagged a Sith Lord and then bragged about the number of points he had on his rack.
And from Episode 2:
- you've ever hopped on a camera droid to take a joy ride.
- you're in a bar in Coruscant and somebody offers you some stim sticks and you say, "No thanks, I'll stick with the Marlboros."
- you think that Dex's diner is an upscale restaurant.
- you think Dex's waitress is hot... for a droid.
- you break off a chase to have a beer in a Coruscant bar.
- you've ever taken your classy girlfriend to a shaak pasture on a date.
- you think that shaak tipping makes a pretty good date.
- you're so inbred that all your relatives share EXACTLY the same DNA.
- you think Jango's a wuss 'cause he doesn't carry enough guns.
- your name is "Bubba Fett".
Still workin' on Episode 3.
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